


if all that i could ever be

by disastaire



Category: Detroit Evolution - Fandom, Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: Asexuality, Bisexuality, Fluff, M/M, casual discussions of boundaries in relationships, gavin "hates pants" reed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-13
Updated: 2020-07-13
Packaged: 2021-03-05 06:07:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,565
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25249636
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/disastaire/pseuds/disastaire
Summary: Gavin's relationship to clothing is one of "if I don't have to wear it, I don't want to". Nines figures out his comfort level with it.
Relationships: Upgraded Connor | RK900/Gavin Reed
Comments: 2
Kudos: 97





	if all that i could ever be

Gavin is naked.

Well, mostly naked. He's just wandering around the apartment in boxers. Nines had been out on the balcony, tending to the few plants he encouraged Gavin to place there. He enjoys the smell and the sight of them. He's learned from talking to other deviants that rather than the basic composition of scents, he can twist the code to group together common compositions and rename them, essentially evoking what humans do when they smell. He can still pick out the components as he pleases, but the general scent is just 'pretty rose' instead of oxygen, nitrogen, chlorophyll and the like.

Nines stops. He's using this as a distraction from the problem at hand.

He turns back to face the balcony, leaning onto it with his arms crossed, a posture he's seen Gavin use and one that feels appropriate for this situation. He revisits his casual use of the word 'problem' in regards to Gavin's state of undress. The sight caused a flare of emotions and responses he's never had to process before; some are similar to discomfort, frustration, surprise, but there's levels of intimacy and affection and attraction layered in, as well as uncertainty and confusion. It's a lot to deal with, to process. Almost too much so.

Behind him, he hears the balcony door slide open. Nines is hesitant to turn around, but when Gavin wraps his arms around him and rests his head against his shoulder blade, he can feel the fabric covering his partner. Nines sinks into the embrace and lets his thoughts stray to other, less complicated things.

\---

Gavin's relationship with clothes has changed as his relationship with Nines has grown.

At first, everything was as before. Gavin tended toward hoodies, sweats and shorts when allowed to be comfortable, otherwise dark clothes and jeans made up his usual outfits. But over the weeks, he started just… forgetting clothes. They'd arrive at the apartment and Gavin would immediately just ditch his pants and forgo putting more on. He would walk around shirtless. Sometimes, at random points Nines could not comprehend, Gavin would go from wearing clothing to being mostly unclothed in a matter of seconds. Gavin never said anything about it. Nines didn't either.

But then Gavin just walked around in boxers, and Nines' brain short-circuited. 

It's a few days before Nines has a reason to think of it again. Work takes most of their time, even when they go home, as a big case makes itself the main focus of their time and energy. When it finally reaches a conclusion, Nines is relieved. While it took a few long days, they're riding a high of a success. They return to the apartment that night. Nines is greeted at the door by Asshole, who appreciates the routine of Nines' affection. By the time Nines looks up again, Gavin is stripping off his shirt once more, tossing it onto the floor as he heads into the bedroom.

Nines double-takes between the slope of Gavin's back and the discarded shirt on the floor. The bedroom door shuts. Nines eyes it for a moment, then goes over and grabs at the shirt. He's cataloged these smells together, compounded together into what he just calls 'Gavin'. Nines is holding the shirt, giving it a sniff, when the bedroom door opens again and Gavin is standing there, cozy in just sweats but no shirt.

Gavin snorts. "Do I even wanna know?"

"I'm just, it was just, uhm," Nines is staring, any ability to process speech lost for the moment. He got caught sniffing his boyfriend's shirt and now his boyfriend is staring at him, shirtless.

Gavin gives him a look, eyebrows furrowed but a smile forming as well. He knows this look, but at the moment, it's just a look. "Hey tin can, did you blow a fuse?"

Nines can't blush. He's certain of it. But the sheepish look on his face does enough to convey how he's feeling. "No, no. Just didn't want Asshole tearing it up." He offers out the shirt, his eyes keeping just above Gavin's shoulder.

Gavin takes his shirt, and within seconds he's tugged it back on. Nines, feeling awkward, excuses himself to the balcony to check on the plants.

Outside, he lifts one of the planter boxes and sets it on the railing. It's methodical and meditative, working with a plant. He inspects the leaves, he runs his finger over the stems, he tugs gently at exposed roots and debates the merits of reburying, re-potting, or letting it be. It lets his mind go blank, as much as it ever does, and he wonders at himself. He called it a problem a few days ago, then chided himself for that. But he's trying to parse why it makes him react so strongly whenever Gavin is even remotely in a state of undress. Gavin is fully aware of where Nines stands in regards to… more physically intimate activities. Gavin has stated his support multiple times. He's always so respectful of Nines. So why is Nines bothered by the undress?

As he thinks, he continues working through the plants, examining them and pruning, fertilizing, watering. But it's not the plants, or his thoughts, that stir him to realization. It's the sight down the street, as someone jogs by shirtless, accompanied by another individual who is not shirtless, but wears only a sports bra. Nines watches them dash by, and his thoughts respond in turn to it. The only time he's ever seen people like that (in his own experience, not in terms of database, cultural awareness, or other) is when dealing with reports about attacks on Tracey models. Like the case they were given that ended up connected to Ada. People in Detroit rarely have the opportunity to be scantily clad, considering the general cold climate and dismal weather. 

Is his association of any form of nudity to sexualization and sexuality something he determined on his own? Nines scans through his memories, trying to piece together the root of this train of thought. Perhaps it was the coding used to distinguish him as an RK model. Recognizing android uses by appearance. He was built with it in mind, distinguishing the types of tasks androids could perform just by their outfits. So perhaps it is not him, then, where it originates. It's the coding, which is informed by the cultures of those who worked to build his model. Gavin talks about this, sometimes, when he's on a tangent about current politics or relevant history. Oppression and repression come through the classification of behaviors contrary to the norm as deviant. Nines always found it fascinating that deviancy was not something androids invented, but rather perfected. In some of their conversations, Nines has even pointed out to Gavin that by traditional societal norms in past years, his bisexuality is considered a form of deviancy that undermines authority and threatens society. Gavin tossed a pillow at him in response, but the point was made.

So, Nines concludes, he is uncomfortable with nudity due to programming and his own associations. There's a sense of relief as it becomes apparent why he reacts so strongly too it. Now that he understands, he can ignore it, or rewrite it to what he wants. Because while he is not predisposed to specific attractions and sex, he can still appreciate the aesthetics of his very pretty boyfriend just fine.

\---

Nines is troubled.

For the last week, Gavin has not appeared in the apartment in any state of undress. Even during a major heatwave at the peak of summer, he did not ditch his shirt (as he had before) while working out. Nines can only assume based on his own memories that it has something to do with the shirt incident, of which he is still incredibly embarrassed about. Gavin has worked very hard not to do so, which Nines has noticed. Nines notices too many things most of the time. It truly does not help the sense of being overwhelmed that comes over him at times, particularly when stimuli bring up new, sudden things to process. 

It's another one of their days off, and Gavin has been cooking in the kitchen. Nines leans against a counter and watches with his hands pressed to the counter to balance him. Gavin is focused, humming along to something playing on his phone. The moment is peaceful, calm, and filled with the domesticity Nines finds he craves most from their relationship, aside from Gavin himself. But the moment shifts when he watches Gavin shift, shirt riding up, and Nines jolts back to the realization that his boyfriend has not been entirely comfortable in his own home.

"Gavin?"

He receives a grunt in response.

"Why have you stopped going shirtless around the house?"

The spoon Gavin holds clatters onto the counter. Nines is biting back a reflexive smile. 

"Oh, you know. Just haven't wanted to. Nothing wrong with, you know. Wearing pants on a Saturday at home," Gavin says as he grabs for the spoon and continues his cooking. 

Nines sits with that for a moment. Gavin is unafraid of overusing sarcasm - it's become a point to their banter. But his response wasn't the usual sarcasm. It was tinged with self-deprecation and… hesitancy? 

Gavin sets the spoon down, shifting to move away from the stove top. Nines takes that moment to go up behind him, wrapping his arms loosely around Gavin's waist, chin resting on his shoulder. Gavin sighs and leans back into him, seemingly put at ease, as Nines can feel the tension drain from him. 

"Gavin, I asked because I wanted an honest answer. If it makes you uncomfortable, I will leave it alone, but I just want you to know you can be open about things with me."

There's grumbling under his breath as Gavin leans his head back, then starts to shimmy his way out of Nines' arms. Nines retracts, briefly comparing Gavin's movements to that of his cat, and settles back against the counter.

Gavin has his hands on his hips, shoulders hunched forward, a stern set to his jaw. "Fuck, okay. You seemed really uncomfortable when I walked out shirtless. Like, really uncomfortable. And then you didn't mention it, but it got me thinking, and I'd seen the look before when you see me pants less or whatever. I didn't want to make you uncomfy. So I'm wearing clothing," he says the last bit with slight distaste, tugging at his shirt's hem. Then he catches himself. "Not that I mind if it means you're all good, just. Yeah."

Oh. How did Nines not see that correlation? He stands there, looking confused, and Gavin's expression turns. Nines is very quick at that to start going, "No, it's fine" but he's cut off by Gavin's, "See that's why-"

The commotion of talking over each other settles into awkward silence. Nines breaks it first, as he can read the tension and upset from Gavin. "I believe this miscommunication is my fault. I was uncomfortable, yes. But not because of you."

Gavin scrunches his nose and turns to give the pot on the stove a stir. "Gonna elaborate? Because you were upset about something."

"Well, I recognized that I held a deep association of nudity in any form with sexual activity," he starts. Gavin's attention is back on him and his brow is furrowed. Nines continues, "But that comes from programming built into my identification software, as well as the bias of programmers who are quick to categorize deviancy in any form as wrong. And a bit from me. I didn't want to make you uncomfortable addressing it. That seems to have occurred anyway."

"No shit." Gavin turns off the burner and moves the pot. It's a sign of his undivided attention, as well as the practicalities of health and safety. Nines thinks of those things, at least. Gavin probably just doesn't want it to burn. "You gotta tell me these things, Nines. I can't do shit if I'm not aware of it."

"It wasn't on you to do, though. You've been very respectful of my boundaries and haven't crossed them. It was something I needed to figure out for myself."

There's a pause where Gavin just examines him. Then he makes a noise and comes over to lean against the counter with Nines. "Okay. So what have you figured out?"

"Well, from a purely aesthetic point, I do not mind you shirtless," Nines starts, being honest with a slight flush. "And I respect your need for personal comfort in your own home, so it mostly does not phase me."

"I get that. What about if we're cuddling or something? I don't care if I have to wear a shirt, but if you're fine with it, some nights I might ditch it."

Nines thinks on it for a moment. Gavin takes his hand at some point during his wondering and gives it a squeeze. "Sleeping is fine. Beyond that, I think I need time to figure out my comfort levels. Is that okay?"

Gavin presses a kiss to the back of his hand. "Of course, tin can. Just let me know when you figure it out." 

Nines cannot help but smile widely. He leans only slightly and kisses Gavin on the cheek. Gavin's expression is soft, and for a moment there's an utter sense of calm in the kitchen.

Gavin, of course, is the one to break it. "All right, all right, I need to feed Asshole."

Nines lets him go and shakes his head, marveling at the oddity that is his boyfriend.

\---

It's only a few days later when another heatwave hits. Gavin promptly abandons his shirt the minute they walk in from work and heads to change out of the rest of his clothes. Nines watches him go with an eye roll. Gavin's nearly pathological hatred of wearing jeans amuses him. Nines rarely gets uncomfortable in his clothing, but the few times he has he tends to shut off that sensory awareness until he can change. 

He eyes the discarded shirt on the floor. He's told Gavin multiple times since their talk that he's fine, all boundaries are being respected, but Gavin's erring on the side of caution more than not. Seeing his shirt laying there gives Nines an idea.

When Gavin leaves the room, clad in joggers alone, he goes to grab his shirt from the floor. And to his surprise, it's not there. He stands upright and makes an annoyed face. "Asshole, you better give it back."

"Oh, I didn't think you would mind."

Gavin rolls his eyes. "You know damn well I meant the cat." He pauses there, processing what Nines said. What would he mind? Nines is just hanging on the couch, jacket off, and wearing his shirt. He's wearing Gavin's shirt. And a sheepish, sly grin. Gavin makes a noise, shaking his head as he moves to flop down next to his boyfriend. "Just what I need, another shirt-thief."

"I prefer to think of it as a win-win scenario."

"Oh yeah? How is it a win-win?"

"Well, you get to be comfortable, and I get to admire my boyfriend and be quite comfortable," Nines smirks. 

Gavin just rolls his eyes again and settles into Nines' side. "This was all a ploy just to keep me shirtless and call me pretty, wasn't it?"

Nines just chuckles.


End file.
